Stepping Away

So much going on – too much, in fact. I hit a wall just before October half term: that old ‘too many tabs open’ thing people often joke about, but it was no joke.

There have been a lot of stressors, big and small, which have been accumulating in my life and that cumulative effect has been detrimental to my mental wellbeing.

I don’t mind sharing this; it happens occasionally and I know the signs. Little things which I’d normally shrug off suddenly start to really annoy me. I get forgetful. I don’t sleep as well and my mind is doing ten-to the dozen, as a result feel exhausted and unable to focus or function very well. I get snappy and weary. I mean, more weary than usual. I get shaky and anxious and feel like I can’t keep running on adrenaline, that something has to give, that the slightest thing’s going to make me burst into tears.

So half term came at just the right time. I was already off from work, working for the educational system, a holiday was well over-due. It was a relief to jump off the ever-accelerating carousel and step back and start to regroup.

Between the mornings of rushing around, family goings-on, juggling meet-ups and various activities, playing catch-up with my other position, and the endless saga of people over thinking situations, including myself, like I said, too much. We all have different thresholds for stress and I’d been clinging to the very frayed ends of my tether for a while, and finally lost my hold on it. My body made the decision for me and, of course your gut is always right. Off for a few days with a virus and a deep slumber was needed to recharge and again regroup my thoughts. Being weak and exhausted is something I struggle with. I am someone that is always on the go and needs to achieve a certain amount everyday, otherwise I fall behind (my fault for taking on so much).

I enjoy taking photos and capturing those moments, and creating a bigger picture and sharing them on instagram and Facebook. I prefer instagram as this gives me a bigger platform when it comes to hashtags (#instagood, #autumnvibes, #ukblogger), then allowing me to build a foundation of contacts around the world when it comes to my interests and thoughts.

I follow many bloggers and pinterest inspirers on Instagram and many give me comfort and food for thought. More than ever now, which I keep on telling people, I read a lot more than I ever did as child and over the years it has helped me to achieve more academically, and achieve to where I am today. Still haven’t finished yet, many paths still to take to achieve my end goal. My goal, is to be that person that can make the changes and make those drastic decisions to make young children’s lives better, but all in good time. Rome wasn’t built in a day and I do not plan to rush my progression.

Sometimes it’s good to recognise what you don’t enjoy or need or want to do, and for me that’s various things that distract me from achieving my daily or weekly goals. I understand that my goals and timeframes are my choice but it’s just not my thing, but that’s OK. Life is here to challenge us and I take day-to-day with a pinch of salt.